The World's Most Obnoxious and Grandiose Marketing Campaign by Jersey Campbell

 “Anyone who is capable of getting themselves to be made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

-        Douglas Adams

                Every four years, America holds the world’s most obnoxious and grandiose marketing campaign. We call it the Presidential Election. 

Jersey Campbell's State of the Union Address

Good evening members of congress, the senate, my cabinet, justices of the Supreme Court, and all my niggas and bitches in attendance. 

*applause*

Tonight I stand here proud and American as apple pie and miseducated voters. I stand here proud because we can all sleep safely tonight knowing Osama Bin Laden is not comin’ to get ya. 

 *applause* 

Despite our glorious achievements, this administration still has much to do. 

*applause*