Voting Illiteracy by Jersey Campbell

“Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one man. How's that again? I missed something.” – Robert A. Heinlein

I’ve said this at least 58 times before, but I need to say it again. I’m an NBA fanatic. I love basketball. More specifically I love good, world-class athlete basketball with pristine ball movement, 80s era Celtics floor spacing and sound team defense.

                  So imagine my dismay when the NBAtv fan night ballot box is closed and the winner of the polls ends up being a Heat – Cavs game. Don’t get me wrong, the team the Cavs are right now are slightly better than the team we all expected them to be, plus they have the early season rookie of the year in Kyrie Irving. But to be voted as the team the NBA universe wants to watch on Fan Night? Come on, man! Maybe Lebron is THAT big of a draw that no matter who the Heatles play the world will want to watch (which is why organizations prize superstars so much, disregarding building solid basketball teams in favor of going after big names. Hey Knickerbockers, how’s that working out for you?). But every week on fan night the marquee game the fans choose is easily the second or third best game of the night. This week the fans chose Heat – Cavs over games featuring better basketball matchups like Pacers – Magic and Blazers – Grizzles. The Heat are on TV twice a week, do we really need to see them a third time?

Jersey Campbell's 100% Objective and Totally Legit NBA All-Star Weekend Selections Pt II: The All-Stars

Pt. I: Rules and Selections for 3-Point Shootout and Slam Dunk Contest

                All-Star Rosters

Team Captains:

Team Dwight- Hometown guy (for now).

Team Rose- Reigning MVP.  

Even though we’re going to the captain-playground ball format, I will still list who I would include under the old East v West format.

Eastern Starters

Jersey Campbell's 100% Objective and Totally Legit NBA All-Star Weekend Selections Pt I: Rules and selections for 3-Point Shootout and Slam Dunk Contest

 

                Now that the NFL will cease to dominate our sporting lives for the time being (the NFL Draft is less than three months away! Coaches getting fired! The Combine! Peyton Manning to *insert team here*! Tim Tebow fighting for a starting spot again!) the American sporting world can finally focus on the NBA and its annual showcase event, All-Star Weekend. 

                The All-Star starters were announced two weeks ago, and this week the coaches vote on the All-Star reserves. We all know voters are dimwitted and lean toward idiocracy; so being the public servant that I am, I will present my picks not only for the All-Star rosters, but also my picks for who should participate in the Three Point Shootout and the Dunk Contest. Yes, J. Camps has done his research and figured out a totally objective formula that will reveal who deserves to be invited to participate in the 2012 All-Star Weekend. Are you as excited as I am? Let’s get it on!

A couple of rules before we begin:

**Vicarious World Special** The Ultimate Superbowl Drinking Game... drink with caution

As of right now it is unclear who was working harder during the week leading up to the Superbowl, the two participating teams or Vicarious World’s team of wannabe writers. We have created (with some help from an associate) the most insane Superbowl drinking game ever. If you manage to get to Madonna’s halftime performance without puking your large intestine and/or dying, check yourself into rehab immediately. 

Also, VW does not promote drinking and driving, Jersey Campbell can tell you all about that. 

Here are the rules:

Jersey Campbell's Video of the Day: athletic competition should never lead to this

If you haven't heard already, there was a riot at an Egyptian Premier League football match on Wednesday, February 1st that reportedly left at least 70 people dead and a thousand more injured. As of now I haven't uncovered why fans of the home side, Al-Masry stormed the field with stones, bottles, fireworks and the like after Masry won the match against the best team in Egypt, Al-Ahly, 3-1. After the match was over, fans of the home side stormed the field and chased players and fans of Al-Ahly, you can see the scene on the footage I've posted from YouTube above. The staff and players of the opposing side had to flee the field once the riot began, and an Al-Ahly manager had to be rescued while being beaten by home fans.

Whatever reason the fans have for such a display is really no reason at all.  Certain news outlets have hinted that the riot could be linked to recent political unrest, but it looks like no one knows for sure.

I encourage you to search for more videos and articles covering this unfortunate incident as they may be able to tell the story better then me.

Never Hike Alone With Preface by KV Sart

Preface:

            This day is beautiful.  As I sit outside and smoke my morning cigarette, I see what is around me.  I see the winter bare crabapple tree and the squirrel on hind legs under the bird feeder, waiting for the cardinal to shake breakfast loose.  It is cold, but the sun pins spots of warmth to my body and the gray blockade of clouds are of benevolent blasé.

            I have this problem with beauty and, in the same respect, happiness.  I cannot see these things as they occur.  It is difficult for me to find the beauty in a moment, or happiness in the instant.  I can see these moments looking back, or looking forward in anticipation, but rarely do I feel these things now.

            That is not to say that I am a wholly unhappy person, who simply drudges from bland life experience to bland life experience.  I have had my moments of bliss, of carnal ecstasies and obstructions overcome.  But even in these times, there seem additional hurdles after the initial hurdles.  Nothing ever seems quite complete, and perhaps this is simply what life is, a never-ending stretch of partial completion.

            Today though, I challenge myself to see the beauty now, instead of remembering what was beautiful tomorrow.  Today is beautiful.  Right now is beautiful.

A peek inside the soul of a soulless man Pt. IV: Hell hath no fury? by Jersey Campbell

The Lake of Fire

               If I die in my sleep tonight (crossing my fingers) and I wake up staring Lucifer dead in the face, I’ll know I’m fucked. I will also know my disbelief in God was totally wrong and I’ll immediately start praying to Yahweh and asking forgiveness for my countless sins, like driving while intoxicated, inhaling herbal shrubs, and vagrancy. 

The Seams by K.V. Sart

In general, people do not want to see the seams that hold the various experiences of life together.  I do not mean in an abstract or broad sense, though surely the same observation holds.  A fan does not want to know that his favorite artist or musician likely cuts his songs together from an ocean of riffs, beats and lyrics.  They do not want to see the toil and struggle behind each work, because we want our genius’ to be prophets, seekers and expounders of pure truth that is unmarred by any sign of humanness.  We forget, all the while, that the humanness is essential.

Jersey Campbell's notebook ramblings: Mr. Campbell is just fine

I want to get my doctorate degree just so I can tell people not to call me "Dr. Campbell." It troubles me when those of us with doctorate degrees get irked over someone calling them Mr. or Ms. instead of Dr. I'm guessing those people went to school so they can walk around, chests out, correcting people when not addressed by the prestigious title of Doctor. Some (read: most) people have a little too much of the Chris Paul don't-touch-the-back-of-my-head-like-I'm-your-son-bitch mentality. Lighten up.

You know how much you're worth and how much knowledge you possess, yet you still worry over trivial shit. I guess after years of school you want people to know what you've been through or something, but cut that shit out. I'd rather not deal with that high-minded nonsense. When people need others to validate their accomplishments and honors it makes it less honorable. If you got your doctorate, much respect. But don't expect me to call you Doctor unless you work in patient care.

Jersey Campbell's State of the Union Address

Good evening members of congress, the senate, my cabinet, justices of the Supreme Court, and all my niggas and bitches in attendance. 

*applause*

Tonight I stand here proud and American as apple pie and miseducated voters. I stand here proud because we can all sleep safely tonight knowing Osama Bin Laden is not comin’ to get ya. 

 *applause* 

Despite our glorious achievements, this administration still has much to do. 

*applause* 

The Responsibility of Expressing Freedom by K.V. Sart

Alright kiddies, let's start this New Year off with a bang, shall we (I know it's a little late to still be calling it New Year, but forgive me, I've been a bit preoccupied).  I should forewarn you: if you suffer from Philosophical Narcolepsy (i.e. you fall asleep during close reading), don't read this.  You may need to look at this one a few times, but that's okay, it'll make you think, and hopefully you're thinking will make me think, and then we can all build from each other's thinking.  You will find that this piece touches on that very topic, the importance of open discussion.  If you find that I'm tragically misguided in my arguments, or want clarification, leave a comment.

Jersey Campbell's Quote of the Day: some nonsense about acorns

It's been too long for the one and a half people who read this blog hasn't it? Well it is time to rejoice. The wait is finally over. Everybody's favorite confused and delusional wannabe writer, moi, returns with a half-ass post because he's lazy and high on drugs (over-the-counter drugs of course, I'd never do anything illegal).

Today's quote of the day comes to us from author/ journalist Malcolm Gladwell's book "Outliers". Take it away Malcolm...