Sunday, October 30, 2011

Domestic Abuse: Why do they stay? by NYC Robert

"Why are you here? I don't even care about you! You’re that…that stuff at the bottom of my shoes after I accidentally step in a pile of dog crap. Yeah…that. That's what you are!"

How would you feel if your significant other said that to you? Probably like shit, but are hurtful things like that always said or done so blatantly? Are you the person who says these hurtful things, if so, why?

Relationships should be 50/50. Not only with what your willing to do for your significant other, but also how you treat them. Many times though, relationships go over there life-expectancy. Meaning the relationship should have only lasted a certain period, maybe a year, but somehow three years have gone by and you two are still together. Is that always a bad thing? No. However, in many cases, yes! Especially, for the person who no longer wants to be in the relationship because it's a drag for them. However, they do enjoy the power they have; and they also enjoy the ability to do or say whatever they want. It's no wonder ABUSERS are control freaks!

It should be clear, by now, that I'm talking about abuse (verbal and physical), which is a major problem in relationships today.  The factors are simple, power vs. weakness, and love vs. hate. In abusive relationships the one that wants out is, obviously, the person who loves power, but hates the person. Why don't they just leave? (That’s a good question).  Is it because they fear they'll not be able to control the next person. Why does the other person stay? The other person is the weak one who is in love. What do they still love? Is it the person they first met or not? Their reason/s are unimaginable.

Clearly I have placed a puzzle in front of you that not even I can fix, or can I? We all hear, or read these types of stories about someone being abused multiple times, and yet they are still with the person. Whether we read it in a magazine, or watch it on a show. The fact of the matter is the responses are usually the same. The abused feels as if they can change their significant other, and their significant other couldn’t care less. We also all feel the same way as distance viewers. Asking ourselves, why doesn’t the person just leave? Do remember, from a distance it’s easy to say what you would do, but up close not so much. 

Many people are abused each day, or will become a victim of abuse. However, they aren’t oblivious to the media. Meaning they've asked the same question you and I are asking- “why do they stay?” But remember that is from a distanceUp close many people don't want to admit what is happening to them. In a sense, you could say people don’t notice that the situation/s they're in is a statistic when it’s up close.  I wonder, though, if people did view there situations as a statistic, would that change things?  


  1. Isn't every situation some kind of statistic? In my world, people stay in abuse filled relationships out of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of getting beat up when trying to leave, fear of hurting the abusers feelings. That's funny bc while the abused has been physically and/or verbally hurt, they are still afraid of mentally hurting the person who caused their grief. Makes me wanna shake up the abused and say, "Stop it!"


  3. Fear, that's an interesting fact. However, not always the case,which is why I didn't want label a reason. Sometimes the person isn't afraid, and are ready to walk-out the door. Why don't they leave? In many cases these abusive people are persuasive. They'll apologize many different ways, but don't actually mean it. For the amount of people who aren't on the verge of walking out. Is it fear that keeps there, or something else? Lastly to add, that an interesting video. Funny, but serious.