Friday, September 30, 2011

*Vicarious World's Best of the Month*

At the conclusion of every month Vicarious World’s team of writers comes up with a totally arbitrary list of our top blog posts during that time. It is the crème de la crème of Vicarious World, the most noteworthy, thought-provoking 2-3 pages of literature (can we call it that?) that we present to you.
This month, our best of the month includes the safe way to get the youngsters involved in drugs, a surprisingly weak defense for the bad guys, two non-experts debating a semi-serious topic, and a couple of poems that you may want to read in total privacy. Here is the "Best of the Month."

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Oct-boner Baseball: Vicarious World's Official MLB Postseason Preview by Jersey Campbell

Tony Plush is looking to light one at the end of Oct-boner.

Disclaimer: this is about baseball, meaning this article will probably last three plus hours and you'll fall asleep at least twice during the middle paragraphs. Turn away now if you wish. 
Also, don’t take these predictions to the bank. I’m just a fan of baseball who watches "MLB Tonight" a lot.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

NYC Robert:The Dating Scheme Upside Down

Many women are a lot more attractive in their prime (20-30years old), I’d say, then when they’re older. I know many of you can agree with that, but if you can’t just take a look out your window.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Politics Killed the Man of Reason by Jersey Campbell

                Politics. The process by which a group of people make collective decisions. Social relations involving authority or power. The methods and tactics used to formulate and apply policy. The activities associated with the governance of a country or area. The art or science concerned with guiding or influencing governmental policy, or winning and holding control over a government.
                There are a lot of things that dissatisfy me; waking up after 8:30, dealing with impatient people, people who have yet to convert to Tom Brady-anity (we’ve been waiting for Jesus to come back for something like 2,000 years, why can’t we realize that he has come back as #12 on the New England Patriots. Repent!). These trivial faults don’t bother me as much the idea of politics. 

Sunday, September 25, 2011

NYC Robert: How to Avoid "The Friend Zone"

The Friend Zone isn't a place you want to be if you're trying to pursue someone because your chances with them may be over.

Have you ever liked someone, but as you got to know them better you felt they'd be a better friend then significant other? By you having those feeling you just placed that person in the Friend Zone. My next question is have you ever been placed in the Friend Zone by someone you liked? If you have, don't be ashamed it happens all the time. Also, keep in mind you may have done it to someone yourself. The real reason for this post is to avoid the Friend Zone. So..if you have ever been placed in the Friend Zone, and don't want that to happen again keep reading.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Billion Dollar Pimps and Million Dollar Hoes by Jersey Campbell

                I don’t have a favorite sport. Instead, I like to put them into tiers. Tier one is the NBA, MLB, and European Football (not that foolishness we like to call football that barely involves the ball interacting with the foot, but real football where the game is predicated on the ball's interaction with the foot). Tier two is the NFL, WTA Majors, NCAA Football, and NCAA Basketball. Tier three is any event Tiger Woods plays in and big-time boxing or UFC bouts. Tier “there’s no way you’ll ever catch me watching this” is WNBA basketball, BASS Fishing, and NHL Hockey, although I have found myself watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs over the recent years.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

NYC Robert: The definition a "Date"

So here’s the truth about the meaning of a date…There isn’t one. Yeah you heard me. So the term ‘Date’ that many people have passed down from generation to generation is indeed false. But no worries, I’m going to set things right. First off let me say this there are two terms here Date and Date Date. Now let’s go to class.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Jersey Campbell's Youtube Video of the Day: The Raid

I'd like to introduce you to Vicarious World's newest running feature, the Youtube Video of the Day.

I'm supposed to be talking about real shit but sometimes I can't help myself. Today we get to take a look at the Indonesian hardcore action flick "The Raid" that's been getting a lot of buzz lately. After watching the trailer, you'll know why. That shit cra'!

It's about a team of 20 cops who have to infiltrate a 30-floor apartment complex filled with criminals and druglords. Their mission is to take out the Kingpin who lives in the penthouse on the top floor. From what I can tell, it looks like if the kung-fu movies we've been watching over the last half century or so were only caterpillars, and "The Raid" is is the butterfly they were destined to become, or something like that. That shit cra'. Peep. 

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Yahoo! Homepages for Homerooms

Yahoo! Homepages for Homerooms: Check out Yahoo! Homepages for Homerooms – it’s an easy, free way to help classrooms across the U.S. by simply making Yahoo! your homepage.

The Vicarious World blog stands behind helping children succeed to become tomorrow's leaders. What better way than giving public schools a helping hand by just making Yahoo your homepage. Yeah, that’s all, follow the link above and it will guide you through three easy steps. Let's help tomorrow's leaders make a difference. 

Friday, September 16, 2011

A peek inside the soul of a soulless man Pt. II: Rooting for the Bad Guy by Jersey Campbell

For Pt. I click here.

Do you remember what your college admittance essay was about? I don’t really care but it was an attention-grabbing way to start this article. I happened to have two of them. A lot of people advised me to scrap the first one because of the nature of what I wrote about. So I ended up writing about why I used a wicker basket usually reserved for fruit assortments as a bookbag for the majority of my senior year. Don’t ask.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

NYC Robert: They Never Texted, Called, or Emailed Me Back!

Is every one on one outing you go on with a new person or friend a date date? I say no. Two people can schedule a meet up and go to a place without it being a date. However, there is a lot of skepticism within that. In many cases one of the two people may feel it’s a date, and the other may not, or they both can think it’s a date, but they really aren’t sure so they ponder the thought. You see how weird this is. Why can’t two people just go somewhere without this thought in their minds?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Toughness of Man by NYC Robert

The other day I was watching a movie called 127 Hours. It’s a true story about a guy who gets stuck in a cave. The movie starts off very calm and exciting; guy gets his equipment for the hike, meets some chicks, and gets invited to their party that evening. So I said to myself, “This movie is not too bad,” but I was still wondering when this guy would get stuck in a cave. After he exchanged numbers with the cuties and goes about his business the story then comes to light.

Walking tall, listening to some tunes, and having no care in the world is not a good thing to do when hiking through caves you aren’t familiar with. Well maybe I’m the only one who thinks that because this guy did exactly that. Until he came across a rock that was wedged in between two mountainous walls. I asked myself, "Why he doesn’t just walk around?" He stood there he thought for a while, stepped on the rock a few times to see if it was secure enough, and thought some more. In the end of his decision making, he decided to jump over it but the rock was not sturdy enough to hold him up. So now he’s falling, and so is that beach ball size of a rock. When he resumes a stationary position his right arm is wedged in between the rock, and the mountainous wall. I said, “Damn,” and asked myself, “How the hell is he going to get out?” He was alone, about twenty feet deep, and no one around for miles.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Jersey Campbell's Quote of the Day: Jiddu Krishnamurti

I'd like to introduce you to the quote of the day.
Our first entry comes from Jiddu Krishnamurti, who was a writer and speaker on philosophical and spiritual issues. A brother of mine introduced me a few months back (not literally, Krishnamurti passed about 25 years ago) and I've decided to pass it along. 

I'm all for enlightenment and the expansion of our understanding. I trust you'll meditate on these wise words

"When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind."
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

Bonus material: "The Real Revolution," 1966 speech from Jiddu Krishnamurti. Everything that was said in this speech then can be applied to the human condition today. 

Friday, September 9, 2011

*Special to Vicarious World* Should you get married? Pt 2. Jersey Campbell and NYC Robert

If you missed Part 1 click here.
Apparently jumping over these
things means a lot

We continue with our friendly discussion on life, love, and jumping the broom.

Jersey Campbell:
Sorry that I didn't know about a 16th century wedding tradition from Wales. Shoulda caught up on my British history before having this conversation, that's my mistake. 
If you can't prove to me that true love exists then I have no reason to believe in it. It's simple logic- I cannot prove a negative claim, the positive must be confirmed. 
I'm just gonna keep throwing scenarios at you and watch you duck and dodge while never confronting. A happy marriage doesn't necessarily mean true love is involved. Maybe those two people are extremely compatible. Maybe one of them have mastered the art of seduction and can get any partner to love them. Maybe they "settled" and found that their partner isn't so bad after all. How are we supposed to know? There are so many people in this world- seven billion and counting- I find it hard to believe that only ONE can be right for you. It's totally possible that your personality and body type totally fit with another personality and body type so that you're predispositioned to have crazy, hormonally charged feelings towards them. It ain't some otherworldly connection that you were destined to have from you were born. Please. 
That's why it should be OK for one's partner to explore other options. If you limit yourself to one person for your whole life you'll never know what else is out there. The smart consumer shops around before settling on a purchase and even then they always keep the receipt. The problem is people aren't products and emotions are easily hurt, I'll give you that. But my point is that no one partner is perfect, and the dissatisfaction will always arise. Whether you can handle it is based not on love, but a crapload of other emotions and rationales that we have lazily (or brilliantly, depending on your opinion) defined as love. 
I'm also curious to know your sentiments on homos (fuck off, that's not a derogatory term. If you're a man and you only like men you're a homo. If you're a woman and you only like woman you're a homo. It's a scientific term. That's like telling me I can't call someone from Argentina an Argentinian.) and bis. But I fear that we'd be overstepping the parameters of this discussion. Maybe another time brother.

NYC Robert:
You don’t want to believe then fine, but tell me how many people believe in things they can’t prove?  If you ask me, I’d say lots actually. One main belief is God. How many people can say that they’ve actually seen him? Not a lot, but yet millions believe in his existence. So it’s not really farfetched to believe true love and marriage can work. Why? Because not many people know marriages that are perfect, but yet it is said that everyone has a true love. Isn’t it a bit mysterious that that saying is still going around today? I think so. If you want to be a wild man and assume it doesn’t exist then fine, do that.  Ask yourself this though- have you tried to find true love, or do you just assume it’s not possible?

If you’re fine with your significant other dating others then OK. But I don’t think you two are in an actual relationship, and according to you what’s the point of people titling their relationship, by saying we’re dating, serious, or engaged? In the end that person will get you so annoyed and frustrated you won’t want to be around them. It’s kind of interesting that you think this way. It’s very similar to the book of Solomon and his wise thinking of not laying with various women for moments of pleasure, or keeping their company just for mere enjoyment. Because in the end they don't help you and you probably don't care about them.  So with the thought of Solomon, if you want to explore then explore, but you shouldn’t need a relationship to tell you you’re not with the right person.  Instead, you should meet people without a relationship, and that will guide you to know what you want in, and from a relationship.

You also mention homos, why? I don’t know. We aren’t discussing who should get married, we're discussing if we need to get married. Love is love, it’s not my place to judge who should, or shouldn’t be married. And as I mentioned before if you believe that there is a person out there for you go and find them. Don’t be a person who thinks financial stability will settle everything. True happiness doesn’t need to be rich. In fact I’d take a mediocre life, a house, a wife, children, and Love over being extremely rich and miserable any day of the week.   

*Special to Vicarious World* A friendly discussion: Should you get married? Pt I. Jersey Campbell and NYC Robert

Today we bring to you a Vicarious World Special: Should you get married? 

Two of our writers, Jersey Campbell and NYC Robert, rip each other apart trying to get to the bottom of this not-so-important question. None of them propose to be experts on marriage (sorry Rob, I take that back) but we thought it would be fun to see where this discussion would take them. 

Read and enjoy. And leave a comment or two, we'd like to see what other people think about this. 

Jersey Campbell: 
Honesty is the best policy, but evidently dishonesty is in a close second. I'll admit I disagree with about 100% of what you say in your posts and I can no longer sit aside and let you ramble on about relationships and not air my opinions. This will be the first and last time I will write about relationships extensively on this blog. 
Nobody "needs" to get married. Aside from the extensive legal and psychological effects of being legally bound to your partner marriage is not essential. If you love someone why do you need the church or the state to confirm it? Besides, getting married is like handcuffing your life to someone else, and we already know how generally undependable people are. Then if things don't work out you gotta get your lawyer involved and go through the whole divorce process, who wants to do all that?
I'm not anti-relationship or anti-marriage, I just think we should think long and hard before you take that oath to be with this person for the rest of your life. Your LIFE. I don't care if their a 20, 80, 55, 12.93, 79 1/2, or 101. Even if you're 100 percent sure that this is the one (and even if you are sure, you're probably wrong) there is a chance that you might not be the one for them. I don't even believe that we have "soulmates." That's like Plato rambling on about perfect beauty and perfect justice. That shit don't exist. Let's not kid ourselves. 

NYC Robert:                                                                                                                                         Do we need to get married? Many people, in fact, lots of people say “NO." They don’t understand the need to get married or to find their true soul mate. Some don’t think it even exists. Well Mr. Campbell, I’m here to tell you that people should get married, and that everyone- yes everyone- has a soul mate.

How many people actually venture to find their true soul mate? If you ask me? not too many. Too many people settle for what’s around them. For example going to a bar, club, church, library, coffee shop, or any other place that suites what they like, or think they like, nearby. What if your true soul mate was in another town, state, or country? I feel that a major problem with people finding true love is the society we live in. Our society is based on capital. As a result people get so wound up in their careers, and not living life, exploring the world, or taking the time to find true love.  I also know in this world now it’s hard for anyone to say I’m going out to find true love and just drop everything on a wimb.

It’s obvious by now that finding true love isn’t easy, but it is possible. Well if you believe that then you’ve probably heard this saying too, “Nothing is easy.” If you really want to find true love then do it. Don’t settle for anyone just cause, because in the end you’re going to be unhappy with yourself, life, and have hatred towards the other person.

I know finding your true soul mate isn’t the act of jumping the broom. However, I do feel that when you find that person, your other half, then getting married wont’ feel like an obligation. So don’t bitch and moan that marriage doesn’t work when you seek enjoyment from the same type of people, and you don’t even feel that isn’t your true soul mate. 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

At The Table by K.V. Sart

              The evening meal was spread upon the table.  A great slab of meatloaf and a bowl of cooked green beans.  There was enough to feed a family of five, but only two sat at the table. 
Margret was always making more food than she or Rick could eat.  It was a habit she had acquired from her mother, though her mother had had seven mouths to feed.  Rick would always jokingly ask Margret what she was practicing for.  Always he saw the hurt in her eyes when he said this.
Margret was unable to bear children.  The two had been trying for the entirety of their marriage.  They had visited every fertility doctor they could find.  All had said the same thing; that it was Margret who was infertile, and none of them had a solution to the problem.
The two drank red wine and discussed the day’s happenings.  Rick worked as a paralegal in a law office, and Margret was a home care nurse for a woman with Alzheimer’s disease.  Margret spoke of how the woman was getting worse everyday, and soon she would be permanently bed ridden.  The woman’s family wished for Margret to move into the house when this happened or else they would find a different nurse.  The family lived many hundreds of miles away, and could not look after the woman themselves.

NYC Robert: Good Afternoon Gorgeous

It’s Sunny.

I’ve spotted her looking out the balcony.
As I gazed at her posterior figure, I slowly worked my way up her body with my eyes.I stared at her caves as if I were hypnotized. They looked so smooth like ripe plum skin.I thought ripe because that’s when fruit is ready to be eaten. Yes, I thought, the chance to finally take that smooth, soft, woman and do what needs to be done, and not let her spoil.I continued to stare in my hypnosis, and slowly worked my way higher.Her day blouse had been covering her soft legs, plump ass, and elegant back; however that didn’t stop my wondrous mind. I imagined the back of her thighs to be as suave as looking at tropical ocean water.Its appearance is mesmerizing.  As I thought more of those soft legs, I knew her plump ass would follow a similar, but more detailed expression, maybe like a ripe plum.Its midline would represent the soft two halves. I wanted to touch and squeeze that ass with my masculine, but yet gentle hands, I did not. I continued up, and now was at her back. I imagined it to be smooth, soft, and angelic. Angelic because of the shape it had. I thought if she were an actual angel then she could wrap me with her wings as I did her in my arms. And we could hold each other, and tighten our bond with the essence of the intimate encounter that was yet to come. That moment could share more intimacy then twenty years of intimate love because we would hold each other deeply; her wings around the two of us, and my penis inside her vagina. She would wrap tighter and tighter, as a sign for me to go deeper, and deeper. I continued up this angelic woman. I was back to her actual skin, and I looked at her scapula’s, smooth neck, and listened to the whistle of the ocean. It was like she was calling me, but to do more than just hold her. I could no longer continue to stare, and be hypnotized because she now has felt my presence, and I was now only two feet away. As she faced me I noticed her gorgeous eyes, soft lips, and the elegance of her beauty. No words were crossed between us, and before I knew it, we had kissed. We kissed and kissed, and in the background I could hear the waves of the ocean clashing stronger and stronger. As they grew stronger so did the passion in our kiss, and one by one the buttons on her blouse began to pop off.  Her blouse was almost off, but the waves had slowed down, and so did I. I felt that moment we just shared was a perfect way to say good afternoon. 

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

NYC Robert: Good Morning Beautiful

Its quiet.
I’m laying in bed next to a soft, angelic, women.
As she lies in my arms, I begin caressing her hair, which probably would  feel like a cloud; if it were touchable. Clouds appear soft, graceful, and angelic.
The indulgence of her hair is something you could touch for hours, as I did.
Soon, the sun began to rise, which made her twist and turn in my arms, so she shunned her eye lids from the light. I glanced lower towards her eye lids, and although they were shut, it was as if I could still see her looking right at me. So I gazed at them, while holding her ever so gently in my masculine arms.
The sun rose higher, and she twisted and turned in my arms. As her head propped higher I noticed her thin, pink lips, which appeared to be pouting towards me, and as I looked back at her eye lids, I knew she wanted a kiss. I thought of that mutual bond we had, and the affection we had for one another, rendering that thought, I too pouted forward. As I moved gracefully towards her waiting for that angelic touch of her soft, gentle, touch of her lips. I began to feel her heart beating, faster, and faster as I moved her closer. While at the same time my heart began beating faster as well, and it wasn’t long before I only felt one beat, and heard one sound. We were connected, and had felt the same passion for one another. What better now, than to seal the excitement within ourselves with a kiss. As my arms wrapped further and further around her, I knew our pituitary glands had stimulated our bodies for the desire of an intimate moment. Our lips had finally touched. We held our lips in a stationary position enjoying every moment of it. The  sensation it was sending down my spinal cord made me want to kiss more, and as our noses touched we smiled, and kissed some more. The mere moment of this angelic kiss was pleasurable, compassionate, and an elegant way to say good morning.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

A Modest Swiftian Proposal Concerning Drug Education by K.V. Sart

The Vicarious World Blog would like to introduce K.V. Sart. Mr. Sart will be a regular on Vicarious World. He's insightful, humorous, and is known to tussle with black bears out in the Appalachian Mountains. He is also The Most Interesting Man in the World's primary adviser. 
Read, and be merry.

It is within the soul that the individual finds their place in existence. Career choices, living arrangements, clothing fashions, all of them products of the human rationale, bound to the limits of environment and society. Where does true meaning come from, in the realest sense?

Often for those living on the fringe of society, psychoactive substances take the place of emotional connection and societal acceptance. For some, the search for meaning has been replaced by artificial brain stimulation.  I am often struck by the sincerest and unapologetic misuse of substances by my generation. Boredom and a severe lack of knowledge seems the culprit. We must educate the youth in matters of proper timing and place for inebriation. We have all known the embarrassment of taking blues in a party setting, passing out on a couch with our shoes on, only to be written on with a black sharpie pen, and going into work the next day with fallacies printed around our mouths. Such a situation is the equivalent of attempting to hammer in a nail with a screwdriver; both, at their core essence do a similar job, but the situation itself dictates the tool.

It is too easy to simply say no one should ever take drugs; history has proven many times over that this does not work. The usefulness of particular substances for certain occasions is too great to ignore. Instead, an alteration in the attitudes towards drugs and drug use is needed.

Drug education, and drug prohibition in general, has not worked. It has become the policy of educators to lie to children about substance use. Let us take a moment to analyze this phenomenon.

Death Note, Kick-Ass, and Batman. Fighting for a cause, by Jersey Campbell

Light Yagami found his voice.
               An innocuous book labeled “Death Note” sat in the grass outside of his classroom. Unnoticed and untouched. Curiosity killed the cat, it empowered Light Yagami. Sparing you all a 15,000 word run-down of the Japanese amine series “Death Note,” I will only detail Yagami’s path to ascension and his inevitable -and slightly, no, seriously incomprehensible and damn near impossible- downfall.
                You have probably already said to yourself, “OK this guy is talking about animes now,” (anime being the Japanese abbreviation for animation), “it’s time for me to turn around and slowly walk away from this blog.” STOP.  This is more than me confessing my love for oversized, beady cartoon eyes and exaggerated expressions. And this show isn’t Dragon Ball Z or Pokémon. It is a surprisingly deep and sadistic tale of a young man who by chance became the pseudo-God of the world. Even the United States President had no choice but to recognize and adhere to his power.
                Warning: it’s about to get a little super-natural in here. The Death Note is a notebook that has the power to kill anyone whose name is written in it. 40 seconds after a name is written that person will die of a heart attack. The note can also control how a person dies. If you detail the events leading up to the person’s death it will happen exactly as you described. Follow me? There are a few other rules regarding the use of the Death Note but these are the most important.

Friday, September 2, 2011

NYC Robert: Why do women cheat? Is it the Karma?

Why do women cheat? Is it the want, the need, or just the desire of another man? Since there can be many reasons I needed to get the perspective of females on this. I interviewed several women and got many different answers. The interviews consisted of women between the ages of twenty-two to thirty-five, of various demographics. With the answers I received it was clear to me that I would have to specify a trait to this because there are a million reasons why. So I thought of KARMA. My definition of Karma is what goes around comes around, and then some.