Friday, September 9, 2011

*Special to Vicarious World* A friendly discussion: Should you get married? Pt I. Jersey Campbell and NYC Robert

Today we bring to you a Vicarious World Special: Should you get married? 

Two of our writers, Jersey Campbell and NYC Robert, rip each other apart trying to get to the bottom of this not-so-important question. None of them propose to be experts on marriage (sorry Rob, I take that back) but we thought it would be fun to see where this discussion would take them. 

Read and enjoy. And leave a comment or two, we'd like to see what other people think about this. 

Jersey Campbell: 
Honesty is the best policy, but evidently dishonesty is in a close second. I'll admit I disagree with about 100% of what you say in your posts and I can no longer sit aside and let you ramble on about relationships and not air my opinions. This will be the first and last time I will write about relationships extensively on this blog. 
Nobody "needs" to get married. Aside from the extensive legal and psychological effects of being legally bound to your partner marriage is not essential. If you love someone why do you need the church or the state to confirm it? Besides, getting married is like handcuffing your life to someone else, and we already know how generally undependable people are. Then if things don't work out you gotta get your lawyer involved and go through the whole divorce process, who wants to do all that?
I'm not anti-relationship or anti-marriage, I just think we should think long and hard before you take that oath to be with this person for the rest of your life. Your LIFE. I don't care if their a 20, 80, 55, 12.93, 79 1/2, or 101. Even if you're 100 percent sure that this is the one (and even if you are sure, you're probably wrong) there is a chance that you might not be the one for them. I don't even believe that we have "soulmates." That's like Plato rambling on about perfect beauty and perfect justice. That shit don't exist. Let's not kid ourselves. 

NYC Robert:                                                                                                                                         Do we need to get married? Many people, in fact, lots of people say “NO." They don’t understand the need to get married or to find their true soul mate. Some don’t think it even exists. Well Mr. Campbell, I’m here to tell you that people should get married, and that everyone- yes everyone- has a soul mate.

How many people actually venture to find their true soul mate? If you ask me? not too many. Too many people settle for what’s around them. For example going to a bar, club, church, library, coffee shop, or any other place that suites what they like, or think they like, nearby. What if your true soul mate was in another town, state, or country? I feel that a major problem with people finding true love is the society we live in. Our society is based on capital. As a result people get so wound up in their careers, and not living life, exploring the world, or taking the time to find true love.  I also know in this world now it’s hard for anyone to say I’m going out to find true love and just drop everything on a wimb.

It’s obvious by now that finding true love isn’t easy, but it is possible. Well if you believe that then you’ve probably heard this saying too, “Nothing is easy.” If you really want to find true love then do it. Don’t settle for anyone just cause, because in the end you’re going to be unhappy with yourself, life, and have hatred towards the other person.

I know finding your true soul mate isn’t the act of jumping the broom. However, I do feel that when you find that person, your other half, then getting married wont’ feel like an obligation. So don’t bitch and moan that marriage doesn’t work when you seek enjoyment from the same type of people, and you don’t even feel that isn’t your true soul mate. 

It looks like our disagreement lies in this whole idea of the soulmate; the belief that there is one person totally right for you and once you find that person everything is all shits and giggles and we live happily ever after. 
No Mr. Rob, it isn't obvious that true love exists and you have yet to convince me. In fact, the burden of proof always lies with the affirmative party. I don't gotta prove shit, but you have to prove that true love isn't some made up fantasy to sell jewelery, terrible chick flicks, and keep our capitalist society going. Just as the burden of proof lies with people who claim God exists, or that Bigfoot still roams the woodlands of Narnia. This isn't even 50-50, its 100-0 advantage: Jersey. 
And what if your "soulmate" is in Sukhum, Abkhazia? You'd be eternally fucked unless Eharmony blessed you with some new technology that could pinpoint your soulmate's exact location. You'd have to live your life lonely and forever in misery because "the one" is out of your reach. Boo-hoo. That's why we settle for what's around us, because God-forbid Mr/Ms. Right be in an Algerian Prison for drug trafficking. 

In all of this, we forget that marriage has become a business decision of sorts. People not only get married out of love, but your partner has to be financially stable as well. There are so many aspects to true love, and a lot of them have nothing to do with what we traditionally view love to be. What say you Mr. Rob?

He wasn't kidding. Sukhum realy does exists.
Soulmates? We're not sure yet

*Also, what in the world is "jumping the broom?"

How do you want to discuss marriage when you aren’t even familiar with the term “jumping the broom?” Step your game up, Campbell. I won’t be your marriage dictionary so look it up. When I read your response I noticed that you discussed a very drastic point. You stated "what if your true mate is in Sukhum, Abkhazia?" First off, I can’t even pronounce that so don’t you think that would be very drastic to say? Probably not according to what I said, but if it’s true love and you want to be happy then why not go for it?

As I stated before it’s not going to be easy to find your true love. If you want to be lazy then be lazy, see how far that gets you. I guess a life of complete misery is not worth the trip to Sukhum, Abkhazia, which may take no longer than a week or two. Tell me Campbell; if you were told that your true soul mate was in a country that is very difficult to get to would you go? Or would you not because of your financial pride and stability, which may all crumble? I’d go because although I’d like a career, and money, that will not bring ultimate happiness to me.  

Your absoulety wrong about me having to prove that true love is possible. I don't have to prove shit. If you want it then go and get it. I'm sure you can find a handful of people in this world who are living happily ever after. Just because we live in this stressful state(New York) and country(United States) doesn't mean that there aren't people out there who aren't living a great marriage.

Whew, that was a dandy. For Part 2, click here

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