**Vicarious World's Best of the Month**: The March Edition

Take a break from buying Mega Million lotto tickets folks, Vicarious World's Best of the Month returns with some scintillating stuff ('sup Clark Kellogg?). Looks like the month of March is now "poetry month" here at Vicarious World. Well, poetry month for all the Wannabe Writers except for Jersey Campbell of course. Jersey Campbell says he doesn't believe in poetry... after awhile you learn to just tune him out- he gets annoying. The Team of Wannabe Writers cranked another batch of dandies fresh out the oven and ready to be digested. From NYC Rob's subtly innocent short-form poetry to Mr. Sart's reflective, thought-provoking poetry, we've got a lot goin' on here. Dig in folks. Read... and be merry.

Badman Nuh Compromise by Jersey Campbell

I’ve been told I tend to be pretty bitter when writing about the current state of our world. My rose-colored goggles are permanently fogged the fog up. Maybe one day I will write something that wholeheartedly commends and praises a particular aspect of society. I will finally give some credit to the people who work hard to make this world a better place. I will finally write a piece that doesn’t bash politicians, sports pundits, voters, the media, the government, the local Stop & Shop, Carmelo Anthony, our relationship practices, the education system, foreign policy, people with doctorate degrees, racism, sexism, Russell Westbrook’s point guard skills, Bud Selig, the lolloping Andy Carroll, NCAA athletics, the lack of empathy, the lack of altruism, the lack of thoughtfulness, parenting practices, the people we admire in society, Andrew Jackson, Jesse Jackson, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, the police (eff ‘em), nuclear development, Obama-rama, NewtGinrichRickSantorumMittRomney (they’re all the same to me), petulant customer service representatives, and of course, myself. Well I got some news for you, today ain’t that day. 

*Vicarious World's Bracket Challenge*: And then there were four...

The only question that remains to be asked in this tourney is: how many points will Kentucky win by in the title game?

The Final Four gives us a couple of early regular season rematches. If the sequels are as tight as the originals we're in for a couple of dandies next Saturday.

The results heading into the Final Four:

win = 80 points; upset = 160*

There were no upsets in the Elite Eight

1) Joose's Gut- 2 wins :        160
1) NYC Rob- 2 wins:           160
1) K.V. Sart- 2 wins:            160
1) Bluespeck- 2 wins:          160
5) JrKartel- 1 win:                 80
5) Jersey Campbell- 1 win:   80
5) Sister Campbell- 1 win:    80

Totals:

1) Joose's Gut:        1,020
2) NYC Rob:             880
3) Bluespeck:            780
4) K.V. Sart:              770
5) Jr Kartel:               640
5) Jersey Campbell:  640
6) Sister Campbell:   530

At first glace it looks like Joose has got the title- and the winner's pillow case- all wrapped up, but there is one among us that may drool on the pillow of victory. K.V. Sart's favorite team for the next eight days will be the Ohio State Buckeyes. Everybody else, better luck next year!

*Vicarious World's Bracket Challenge*: The Elite Eight

Only the elite teams of college ball remain in the NCAA tourney. While we all love a cinderella story, I think we love watching teams with NBA talents a wee bit more. Here are the Sweet 16 results:

win = 40 points; upset = 80 points

1) Joose's Gut- 7 wins (3 upsets):            400
2) NYC Robert- 5 wins (1 upset):           240
3) K.V. Sart- 5 wins (0 upsets):               200
4) Bluespeck- 4 wins (0 upsets):             160
4) JrKartel- 4 wins (0 upsets):                 160
6) Jersey Campbell- 3 wins (0 upsets):   120
6) Sister Campbell- 2 wins (1 upset):     120

Totals:

1) Joose's Gut:                860
2) NYC Robert:              720
3) Bluespeck:                 620
4) K.V. Sart:                   610
5) JrKartel:                     560
5) Jersey Campbell:       560
6) Sister Campbell:        450

Looks like Joose is gonna run away with the Bracket Challenge Cup this year. Picking seven out of the eight Elite Eight teams (with THREE upsets!) requires thorough collegiate basketball knowledge, or a whole bunch of luck. Either way, Joose is sittin' pretty atop the standings with three rounds left to go.

Check back on Monday morning for the standings heading into the Final Four.

Jersey Campbell's Quote of the Day: Two quotes for the price of one!

Good day boys and girls. We have another edition of Quote of the Day for you, and this time we bring you not one, but two (TWO!!) quotes from my boy Jean Jacques Rousseau's treatise on education titled Emile. For those who are unfamiliar, Emile is a book centered around the personal development of a young child. In the book, Rousseau explains to the reader how to effectively raise a baby to become to self-sufficient man and functioning member of society. With the proper education and rearing, Emile will grow into a man who is confident in himself and his abilities while understanding the way of the world. Through childhood Emile will only be raised by and through simple (while delicate and intricate) and natural means. Further details will be spared for now (give yourself a pat on the back if you haven't passed out), but hopefully these snippets of knowledge from the book will incite further interest. 

*Best believe these won't be the last Quote of the Day taken from Emile or Rousseau.*

*Vicarious World Bracket Challenge*: Onto the Sweet 16

The suits who run the NCAA are so gosh darn stoopid. Why call the play-in games the first round? Now when the real first round begins everybody has to call it the second round and when the second round begins everybody has to call it the third round. Let's just call the two rounds before the Sweet 16 the Round of 64 and the Round of 32. They're just warming it up before the field expands to 15,000 schools in 2875 anyway.

The Round of 32 results:

1 win = 20 points; 1 upset = 40 points

1) NYC Robert- 11 wins (2 upsets): 260
2) Joose's Gut- 11 wins (0 upsets): 220
3) Bluespeck- 10 wins (1 upset): 220
4) K.V. Sart- 9 wins (0 upsets): 180
5) Jersey Campbell- 7 wins (1 upset): 160
5) JrKartel- 7 wins (1 upset): 160
7) Sister Campbell- 6 wins (0 upsets): 120

Totals:

1) NYC Robert: 480
2) Joose's Gut: 460
3) Bluespeck: 460
4) Jersey Campbell: 420
5) K.V. Sart: 410
6) JrKartel: 400
7) Sister Campebll: 330

After a crap Round of 64, NYC Rob's picks pan out in the Round of 32 and he now has the overall lead. In other news, two of Sister Campbell's Final Four picks are now out of the tourney after the first weekend. Lightening can strike twice, but rarely does it strike thrice. Better luck next year. Speaking of lightning, the winner of VW's March Madness Bracket Challenge wins lightning in a bottle, or as nonconformists like to call it, a bottle of lightning.

The Sweet 16 games begin on Thursday. Check back on Saturday morning for the updated standings. 

*Vicarious World's Bracket Challenge*: First Round Update

*We forgot to mention that picking an upset nets you double points for that game. An upset is defined as any winning team seeded at least two spots lower than their opponent. A #3 beating a #1 is an upset. A #10 beating a #7 is an upset. A #9 beating a #8 is not an upset. You don't like us switching it up in the middle of the tourney? Too bad. I guess you don't want to win the prized florescent light-bulb.

The standings after round 1.

1 win = 10 points; upset = 20 points

1) Jersey's Sheet of Integrity- 23 wins (3 upsets): 260
2) Joose's Gut- 21 wins (3 upsets): 240
3) Bluespeck- 21 wins (3 upsets): 240
4) JrKartel- 20 wins (4 upsets): 240
5) K.V. Sart- 21 wins (2 upsets): 230
6) NYC Robert- 20 wins (2 upsets): 220
7) Sister Campbell- 18 wins (3 upsets): 210


Look's like Mr. Campbell's I-don't-give-a-crap approach has paid off thus far. But it is still very early folks, that Charmin toilet paper roll can be had by anyone at this point.

Sometimes We Think by K.V. Sart

Sometimes we think

Alone in the dark

Reaching for something above

Something big and bright

And then reality creeps in

Sometimes we think

That we love

When we don't

And sometimes we do

When we think we don't

Jersey Campbell's FINAL Final Four 03.15.12 2:45 AM

That's it folks, we're set. Etch these picks in stone. Write this down with the golden pen. The time for flip flopping fluctuations is over.

My bracket is just random enough that I am sure I will come out the victor not only in my family pool (my basketball clueless sister has won the past two years... when she heard Mike D'Antoni got fired she asked, "what happened to Jeff Van Gundy?") but in Vicarious World's Bracket Challenge (sign up, like right now) as well.

No surprises here, my FINAL Final Four hasn't been altered from the last post. Same teams, same match-ups, same champions. Me and my boy Obama think alike- UNC will be crowned champions at the end of the tourney.

Kentucky over New Mexico
North Carolina over Cincinnati

NC over UK in the title game

Well, that's it my friends. There you have it. Check back regularly to see Vicarious World's Bracket Challenge standings. They will be updated at the end of every round.

Jersey Campbell's Final Four (subject to change by the time you read this): 03.14.12; 9:30 AM

The man in the middle for my national championship pick has been ruled ineligible for the NCAA Tourney... time to switch it up again.

We've got a little more than 24 hours before the real MADNESS begins, expect a couple more alterations to my Final Four projections. In this addition my pre-bracket release champions, MSU, are outed in the Sweet 16; and my post-bracket release champions, Syracuse, are outed in the first weekend.

This is my new and improved Final Four... for now.

Kentucky vs. New Mexico
Cincinnati vs. North Carolina

NC over UK in the title game. 

Jersey Campbell's Final Four (subject to change by the time you read this) 03.12.12; 10:30 PM

We'll have to excuse NYC Rob for rudely interrupting my Final Four fluctuations. He has promised that he won't do it again.

Turns out I did watch a little college ball this year. I saw a couple of Baylor games this year, "unimpressed" would be an understatement. So I'm going back to my original pick the Kentucky Wildcats. I will probably be changing this pick again before midnight tonight though, the consensus best team in the land never wins the tourney.

Murray State? Seriously? Yeah, I'm gonna go with Michigan State in that bracket. They were going to be my original pick to win it all before the brackets came out. Then they got a #1 seed, I like them better as a #2. Even so, I can't pick Murray State. Not only are they out of my Final Four, but I also have them losing in the first round to Colorado State.

My new Final Four:

Michigan State vs. Kentucky

Syracuse vs. Kansas

'Cuse over MSU in the title game.

Book it! (in pencil)

Hold me by NYC Robert

Lying in bed wrapped in his arms, tucked closely to his chest. So close she felt his heart beating and he hers. She felt comforted, and secure. A feeling she longed for. The feeling of arousal through subtle innocence.

Jersey Campbells Final Four (subject to change by the time you read this): 03.11.12; 11:00 PM

Jay Bilas just told me that Baylor has a "lengthy" squad. I love me a team with some length. Don't know what that means but I like it! Plus they have those snazzy new jerseys they busted out for the Big 12 Tourney. Baylor Bears alldaway!

Here is my new Final Four:

Baylor vs. Murray State

Syracuse vs. Kansas


'Cuse over Baylor in the title game

Jersey Campbell's Final Four (subject to change by the time you read this): 03.11.12; 10:06 PM

This year, I watched less NCAA B-ball then I ever have since my parents blessed me with ESPN through an illegal cable subscription. This means that this year's Sheet of Integrity will be my most successful one yet. People who know college ball never get these things right. My sister is somehow the two-time defending champ in my family pool. The woman doesn't watch college basketball. When picking out her bracket, I'm guessing she just picks the school she likes better. It's totally arbitrary and has nothing to do with what goes on on the court.

So I'm going into the 2012 NCAA Tourney feeling pretty good about myself and my picks. I've seen the brackets, I've watched bracketology, I've stalked Joe Lunardi, and I've wire-tapped Dickie V's house. I'm ready because I'm not ready. The less analysis you do, the better your bracket will end up. 

Now that I know what I don't know what I need to know to know the tourney field, I can present to you my Final Four Right Now.  

*Vicarious World's March Madness Bracket Challenge 2012*

The Team of Wannabe Writers here at Vicarious World know a lot about mass distractions. NYC Rob blogs exclusively about relationships and dating, Jersey Campbell is a sports junkie, and nobody really knows what K.V. Sart's does with his spare time.

So it should come as no surprise that Vicarious World has created a NCAA March Madness Bracket Challenge for our contributors and fan(s) to compare and poke fun at each others brackets. Sources tell us that everyone who participates in VW's Bracket Challenge will have at least two of their final four teams ousted after the first weekend. Trust us, it always ends up like that.

A couple of rules before you submit your bracket:

- Going chalk is prohibited. That means we will not accept brackets with all #1 seeds in the Final Four, nor will we accept brackets with all #1s and #2s in the Elite Eight. You get the point.
- Only one entry allowed per person. It isn't called the Sheet of Integrity for no reason.
- You do not have to follow these rules.

All that needs to be said has been said. Get your virtual butts into the Vicarious World group on ESPN.com. Here is the link.




LOLOLOL. Gotcha! Seriously though, here is the link.

The World's Most Obnoxious and Grandiose Marketing Campaign by Jersey Campbell

 “Anyone who is capable of getting themselves to be made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.”

-        Douglas Adams

                Every four years, America holds the world’s most obnoxious and grandiose marketing campaign. We call it the Presidential Election. 

Fractured Dreams by K.V. Sart

Fractured dreams

Idealized visions

From the tv screen

And mirror neurons firing

In empathy

Familiar faces

Changing into

Unfamiliar ones

And back

Into barely recognizable sludge

Split-brain polygraph tests

Showing neutral signs of life

And the man with the broken ego

Turns away from the wind

Shouts at the trees and the wind

Perceived consciousness

Established at the senses

Divorced from the outside

Disconnected on the inside

Observed by the subject

Sincere belief in self

And a concept of the good

Embodied in others

And the endless selves

And endlessness itself

Jersey Campbell's Favorite Youtube Videos of All Time Right Now

Humans have invented many great things. In the beginning it was simple tools, the wheel, and God. Fast forward tens of thousands of years and we now have HDtvs, the internet, and prescription drugs (got that oxy on deck). All of these inventions pale in significance when compared to YouTube. Boy I love me some YouTube. Here are my favorite YouTube videos of all time right now.

Shit Knicks Fans Say 2: Jeremy Lin Edition presented by EricsWorldTV
I believe Jeremy Lin did end the lockout. Bout to be on that Jeremy Lin diet, nothing but chopsticks in the crib.