Yesterday was my twenty-third birthday, but when I woke up I was sad. Sad because of the things that are existent in my life, and for the first time in a while, I felt like crying. My father has Parkinson's, and my mom has a nerve imbalance. I feel in the blink of an eye I can lose the ones who love me the most.
I've always been tough, and fierce; and I've always had the ball in my hand, but I don't feel that way anymore. Love is a strong thing; I now know why it's used against people in certain situations. But I feel broken with no control. I've been sad and thinking of these things for some time now. I've also been asking myself why I don’t feel like my usual self, I'm young right? I guess I'm stuck in this old mind. In a way I still think God is existent. How else would I have the notion to feel the love for someone (family and friends) if not? Although I wrote that doesn't take away the pain I feel inside. My eyes will still water, and I'll still feel helpless.
I think about the future. What may happen to my sisters, and me? Where will we all end up? I mean time moves so damn fast. Before you know it I'll be thirty with a kid, and the cycle has started again. But this notion I have inside of me, where will it go?
I've always been tough, and fierce; and I've always had the ball in my hand, but I don't feel that way anymore. Love is a strong thing; I now know why it's used against people in certain situations. But I feel broken with no control. I've been sad and thinking of these things for some time now. I've also been asking myself why I don’t feel like my usual self, I'm young right? I guess I'm stuck in this old mind. In a way I still think God is existent. How else would I have the notion to feel the love for someone (family and friends) if not? Although I wrote that doesn't take away the pain I feel inside. My eyes will still water, and I'll still feel helpless.
I think about the future. What may happen to my sisters, and me? Where will we all end up? I mean time moves so damn fast. Before you know it I'll be thirty with a kid, and the cycle has started again. But this notion I have inside of me, where will it go?
it will be ok. i can't pretend to know how your life is, but i think if you keep your eyes on now, the rest will work itself out.
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